Diary of Love Notes & Daydreams

If you follow me on my socials, you know about the sacred time I have dubbed Date Yourself Nights.

Born in 2019 from the combination of being stuck in a terrible job that drained every ounce of my soul, and the loneliness of the 2020 lockdown era, Date Yourself Nights became a way to enjoy my own company and something to look forward to every week. A dedicated time every week just for myself, however I chose to spend it. A few hours that I could block out the rest of the world, responsibilities put off for just a while, to make time for myself and myself only.

but the basis of them is this: a night by myself, usually when my husband is out for his weekly trap shooting league. If he’s home, I explicitly tell him it’s Date Yourself Night, and respectfully, please leave me alone. I enjoy a nice meal of food the hubs wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole, and I either read, or watch a girly tv show. And the most important part: they’re scheduled and non-negotiable (although some weeks it’s just not possible, like during the holidays, rock fest, family obligations). Every week, without fail, Date Yourself Night is in my calendar just like an appointment. If it’s not scheduled, it’ll fall to the wayside, and when self care is no longer a priority, you have no longer become a priority to yourself. And take it from me who had to learn this the really hard way, you need to make yourself a priority. You’ll be a better partner, parent, friend, etc. when you’re taking care of you. Ok, let me just…put that soap box away now.

When I started DYNs, I was broke as shit. Like stretching my last $20 every paycheck broke. So I would cook myself a meal with what I had at home. And honestly, the enjoyment of cooking and the process of making the meal was just as lovely as eating it. I eventually was able to order takeout once a month, then once a pay period, then every week. Eventually, I started losing interest in cooking full meals, which is another story for another time, but I fell in love with snack plates/trays. Snack plates became my signature move, and they became a way to add whimsy and a special treat every time I made them. They deserve their own moment to shine, so you’ll see plenty of them in other posts.

These days, they typically are on Wednesday nights during Chris’s trap night – which works perfectly, because it’s right in the middle of the week. The perfect pick me up ¾ into my four day workweek. I kiss the hubs goodbye, tell him to shoot straight (equivalent of good luck), and settle into a cozy evening to myself in one of my two favorite places in our home. In the summer, I curl up on the patio furniture in front of the gas fireplace with a book or my Kindle until the mosquitos come out. For the rest of the year, I’m in our semi-finished basement in my little cozy lair: modular couch I can sprawl out on, tv playing either mood music or a tv show in the background, paperback or Kindle in hand, dimmed lights, and a candle burning. Immaculate vibes, if I do say so myself. For Kindle users, get yourself a small pillow holder for the device. For physical book users, prop it up/rest it on an actual pillow in your lap. You’ll thank me when you’re not so hunched over while reading.

Recently, I decided to level up solo meals,and bought these adorable condiment dishes and metal chopsticks, and got snack trays for Christmas to put everything on – way better than laying a tv tray down flat like I had been doing.

This weekly recharge time is so beneficial to my mental health. What that looks like will be different for everyone. Even if it’s only an hour away from the kids sitting in your car eating fast food and jamming to your favorite playlist  in a parking lot, taking scheduled and purposeful time to yourself is SO important. Promise me, make that pinky swear me, you’ll put at least an hour into your calendar to take care of yourself, however that time looks for you.